On Friendship

Every time I go home I’m facing the same issue: I look forward to seeing my friends from home but by the time I get there I miss my friends from England.

Looking back since I first came here I had to learn that friendships sometimes end – some slowly, when your lives take different directions. Other form one day to the other, because someone has been hurt, because of arguments, because of conscious decisions.

There are other friendships that grow slowly – I’m amazed to see how sometimes you meet someone and you just get on with them immediately. Other times you make a conscious decision to get on with someone and to make an effort to build up a relationship with somebody because you know that you’d be spending much time with this person for one reason or another. Sometimes you may have known a person for quite some time and suddenly you can feel that for whatever reason they become dearer and closer to you.

In some situations we may have stopped making an effort for certain people but decide to try and revive it and it’s always nice when you haven’t seen someone for ages and you meet up again to find that you can still talk to each other as if you hadn’t been apart. In other situations you find that, despite regularly trying to keep up close contact, every time you meet there is less to say.


I’m sure God wants us to have and to be friends: Ecclesiastes 4, 9 - 12

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.




There are many stories of friendships in the bible; one that I like particularly is the one of Ruth:

16 But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.

But I think one story, the one of David & Jonathan, holds quite a few lessons for me; things were I know I haven’t been a good friend to others, things that I could still work on. Based on 1. Samuel 18 onwards

1. There are no limits for a friendship to blossom: The Prince, son of the King, became best friends with the shepherds’ boy.

2. Jonathan, as a good friend, gave David advice (when Saul was angry with David) and David accepted that advice and listened to what Jonathan had to say.

3. Jonathan spoke well about David to Saul. It would have been easy and understandable if he had agreed with his father – after all Saul was not only his father and therefore expected respect, he was also the King and a very powerful man. But Jonathan didn’t just agree or keep stumm (like I often do when I’m worried that disagreeing might cause problems for me) but e stood up for his friend.

4. Jonathan was encouraging and supportive when David was in great affliction and also shares the suffering – it says they wept together.

5. They point each other to God – Jonathan asks the peace of the Lord over David and encourage him later on to trust in the Lord.

6. Friends keep promises and don’t forget the good the other did for them. After Jonathan died, David found his son (Mephibosheth) and looked after him.



I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for all the friendship you have shown me since I came here. And to apologize for all the times when I could have been a better, more attentive, less selfish friends to you. And to encourage you to be good friends because when you have everything (health, money, possessions) it’s only worth something if you have people to share it with. And when you have none of that it makes it a lot easier if you have people who share with you.